Over a decade ago, I found myself wrestling with a challenging business decision. A customer, experiencing rapid growth, requested additional services to scale their infrastructure. However, they could not immediately afford it, and they were not entirely sure they would ever be able to afford it. They were in the process of securing more funding and promised to pay us once they had the money. At the time, we were profitable, but taking on this work would significantly impact our cash flow.

My mentor noticed my struggle and posed a question that has stayed with me ever since: which outcome was undesirable, and which was unacceptable? He pointed out that people often use these terms interchangeably, believing they mean the same thing when, in reality, they represent different levels of severity in most situations.

Ultimately, we decided it would be unacceptable not to give the customer a fighting chance to raise money, as it could lead to job losses or worse. (We would also fail at our core values.) Although taking the risk and not getting paid was undesirable, it was not deemed unacceptable. Most members of our team were never aware of this situation.

This experience highlighted the importance of distinguishing between ‘unacceptable’ and ‘undesirable’, two terms that, although often used interchangeably, have distinct meanings and implications.

Definition and Context:

• Unacceptable: This term refers to something that cannot be tolerated or allowed. It is often used in situations where there is a clear boundary or standard that should not be crossed. For example, in a business setting, it would be unacceptable for an employee to engage in unethical practices or for a company not to comply with legal requirements.
• Undesirable: This term refers to something that is not wanted or preferred but does not carry the same level of severity as ‘unacceptable’. It often denotes a less-than-ideal situation that one might be willing to tolerate or deal with under certain circumstances. For example, it might be undesirable to work late, but sometimes it is necessary to meet deadlines.

Nuances in Meaning:

Understanding the differences between ‘unacceptable’ and ‘undesirable’ is crucial because using one term over the other can have different implications. Labeling something as ‘unacceptable’ suggests that it is non-negotiable and should not be tolerated under any circumstances. On the other hand, labeling something as ‘undesirable’ suggests that, while it is not preferred, it is something that one might be willing to tolerate or deal with if necessary.

Implications:

Using the correct term in different contexts can have significant implications. In a professional setting, labeling an employee’s behavior as ‘unacceptable’ implies that it is a serious issue that requires immediate attention and potentially disciplinary action. Conversely, labeling the behavior as ‘undesirable’ implies that it is not preferred but does not carry the same level of severity.

In a personal context, understanding the difference between ‘unacceptable’ and ‘undesirable’ can help in setting boundaries and managing relationships. It is important to communicate to others what behaviors are ‘unacceptable’ (e.g., disrespect, dishonesty) and what behaviors are ‘undesirable’ (e.g., being late, not communicating well) to establish clear expectations.

Examples:

• Business Context: A company may find it undesirable to lay off employees due to financial constraints, but it may be deemed unacceptable to keep them employed while not being able to pay them. Both decisions are horrible, and leadership should be accountable for how the company got to this point.
• Personal Context: It may be undesirable for someone to cancel plans with a friend because they are feeling overwhelmed, but it may be unacceptable for them to push through and potentially have a breakdown.

  In my case, I plan to run Leadville Trail 100 again in the future. It’s undesirable that I must push it out until 2025 at the earliest. Why? Because the race has typically been the same week as the first-year (fka freshmen) dorm move-in for the kids. Missing the ability to help and support my kids in this monumental step is absolutely unacceptable.

Conclusion

The distinction between ‘unacceptable’ and ‘undesirable’ is subtle but significant. While both terms indicate a negative situation, ‘unacceptable’ denotes a non-negotiable boundary that should not be crossed, whereas ‘undesirable’ denotes a less-than-ideal situation that may be tolerated under certain circumstances. Understanding and using these terms accurately can have a meaningful impact on our interactions and perceptions in both professional and personal contexts.